Joe is yelling at the trees again.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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