just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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