Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
