I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
