i can't believe i had my finger in that
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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