i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize