I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
