Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
