hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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