You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I need a beard to bite.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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