have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
