I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!