I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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