I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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