Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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