So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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