you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
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She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
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When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.