Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog

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(607): View more from New York

My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.

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(516): View more from New York

She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(918): View more from Oklahoma

this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"

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(859): View more from Kentucky

She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon

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(812): View more from Indiana

It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed

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