U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
