You're so nebulous sometimes
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
