That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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