just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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