I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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