this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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