Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
