Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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