He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
