I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize