I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
