Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
