WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.