I want leopard sheets
thats the plan
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
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I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
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I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.