I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably