I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.