We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
