just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
