Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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