He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
