Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
