Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize