I'm really into asian looking animals
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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