Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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