Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We had sex on a dog bed..
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
