...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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