whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I think I just sharted jello shots
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
