i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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