did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
