Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
