haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i drank out of a bidet.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The adults are the big ones right?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
