Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
