I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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