I must be too annoying 4 u.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
