I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
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I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
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Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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