I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
