dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
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Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
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Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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