My brain says no but my pants say off.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
