they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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