you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
