You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
