Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
