I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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