I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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