So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
