So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
