God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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