Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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