There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
