fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
