Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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