we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
